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Page History: The Turboencabulator & Retroencabulator

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Page Revision: 2009/04/01 01:11


The Turboencabulator

One of the most important technological advances to be developed by Rockwell, the turboencabulator remains a shining example of ingenuity, persistence, and collaboration.

The Early Years

The initial design of the turboencabulator is credited to Arthur D. Little, Inc., a venerable Cambridge, Mass, chemical and engineering research firm. A 1946 article from Time magazine lauds this accomplishment.

General Electric's contribution

Although the turboencabulator was nearly fully-functional, Mr. Little was forced to sell his business to General Electric in 1957. Hoping to cash in on the popularity of drive-in movies and restaurants, Arthur had invested heavily in a chain of drive-in shoe stores, which failed quite spectacularly.

Development continued for a time with GE, but the project lost all momentum when the lead researcher, one J.H. Quick, was killed in a freak brothel accident. Before Mr. Quick's untimely death, GE published this short document on the turboencabulator to date.

Rockwell completes the process

With the project now rudderless, GE sold the rights to the turboencabulator to Rockwell. Although by this time many of the basic concepts of the turboencabulator were well known, a functioning product had yet to be produced. Rockwell's engineers quickly closed the gaps left by the previous research and began production of commercial turboencabulators in 1972.

What follows is a transcript of a Rockwell video on the development of the turboencabulator. Demonstrated are many of the core principles of the turboencabulator in clear, concise language. The video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4

... has been proceeding to develop a line of heavy-duty transmissions that establishes new standards for reliability, durability, and quality with customer needs as our primary focus.

Work is proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turboencabulator.

This was the idea: forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to fade into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Now, as you may remember from your high school days, both of these liquids have specific peristocities given by the formula P=2.5C * 6.7 / N where N, of course, is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C in that formula being Chalomondeley's annular grid coefficient. Now, initially, N was measured -and here's where we had a great deal of trouble- with the aid of a metapolar refractive pilfrometer. And, of course, for a description of that ingenious instrument that saved us a great deal of work, we referred to Dr. David Blumenstein's book Ze Schrift ver Elektrotechnicastatischerdonnerblitzer. That was Blumenstein's seventh volume, I believe. But up until now, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope. And for that our engineers referred to the Peruvian Academy of Skatological Sciences, which I believe was, yes it was June 1914, that meeting. Now, I understand that this description may sound a bit complicated to the lay ear, but even experienced electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubbing together a regurative purwell and a supernative weenal sprocket. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development. We were at our wits end until in 1984 it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a cryptonaptic bowling shim to be tankered.

The turboencabulator has now reached a high level of development and it's being successfully used in the operation of nofer trunnions. Moreover, whenever a phorescent skor motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

Now we realize that 59 million dollars is a great deal of money. But we at Rockwell Automotive believe sincerely our customers are worth it. Thank you.


The Retroencabulator

Rockwell didn't stop with the turboencabulator. Further advances and refinements were made until, in 1989, the retroencabulator was introduced.

The following is a transcript of a Rockwell video on the development of the retroencabulator. The basic functionality of the retroencabulator is patiently explained in a simplified manner for a non-technical audience. The video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBp5ag6SJH4

Here at Rockwell Automation's world headquarters, research has been proceeding to develop a line of automation products that establishes new standards for quality, technological leadership, and operating excellence. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provide inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance Electric motors, Allen-Bradley controls, and all monitored by Rockwell Software is Rockwell Automation's retroencabulator. Now basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it's produced by the modial interaction of magnetoreluctance and capacitive diractance.

The original machine had a base plate of prefamulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logrithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fam. The line-up consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal Lotus-0-Deltoid type placed in panendermic semiboloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the up end of the grammeters.

Moreover, whenever phlorescent skor motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration. The retroencabulator has now reached a high level of development and it's being successfully used in the operation of nofer trunnions.

It's available soon, where ever Rockwell Automation products are sold.

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